Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I wish i was in the wii world.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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