So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Mom said you looked used
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
