It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
