I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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