I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Randomize
