Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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