that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
