Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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