i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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