i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
