I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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