Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
