Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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