The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
