I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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