would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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