i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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