You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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