Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
