you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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