Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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