I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
