I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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