Barsexuality is the new black.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize