Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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