I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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