Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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