why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
