i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
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