I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
