Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
