Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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