I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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