I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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