Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
