I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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