I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
