What a fucking waste of an outfit
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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