Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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