And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
