Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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