We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
