I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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