you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
