I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
