apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Randomize
