You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Randomize
