I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
