he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
