Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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